So, you have a new home built by the westerner husband to western standards with all the mod cons and the luxuries of the foreign way of doing things. But, will the home alone be enough to stop reverting back to the old Pinoy ways and traditions?
Take a look at the list below and see if you have broken free of the shackles of the Philippine culture?
FAMILY & FRIENDS
1. You were raised believing every Filipino was an aunt and uncle
2. Your dad or uncle was in the Navy
3. Your mom or sister is a Nurse
4. You get smelling kisses from your grandma
5. Your parents call each other mommy and daddy
6. You know someone with a name that repeats itself, i.e. Jon-Jon, Len-Len, Jong-Jong, or Bing-Bing
7. You have aunt & uncle named Baby, Girlie or Boy
8. You know a veteran dynamite fisherman called “Lefty”
9. You have a dog named whitie, blackie or Bantay
10. Your parents call each other ‘Mahal’ and they call you ‘Anak’ or by your wonderful Filipino nickname you’ve had all your life (Jang, Cici, Meng, Choy-Choy, etc) ….and you KNOW they’re mad at each other or at you when they use actual names
1. You think eating chocolate rice pudding and dried fish is a great morning meal
2. You order breakfast items like tapsilog, longsilog, or tocilog at restaurants
3. You always grab a toothpick after each meal
4. You order a ‘soft drink’ instead of soda
5. You dip bread in your morning coffee
6. You refer to seasonings and all forms of MSG as ‘Ajinomoto’
7. Your cupboard is full of corned beef hash, spam and Vienna sausage
8. You appreciate a fresh pot of hot rice
9. You bring your ‘baon’ to work everyday
10. Your ‘baon’ is usually something over rice
11. Goldilocks means more to you than a fairy tale character (bakery)
12. You wash and re-use plastic utensils and styrofoam cups
13. You eat purple Yam flavored ice cream (ube)
14. You know that ‘chocolate meat’ isn’t really made with chocolates
15. You think half-hatched duck eggs (balut) are a delicacy
16. You have an ice shaver for making ‘halo-halo’
17. Your cloth tablecloths have telltale ‘tuyo’ circles on them
18. You have to have a bottle of Jufran handy
19. You use your fingers to measure the water when cooking rice
20. Neighbors complain about the smell of ‘tuyo’ on Sunday mornings
21. You fry Spam and hotdogs and eat them with rice
22. You eat rice for breakfast
23. You have a supply of frozen lumpia in the freezer
24. Your buy ketchup made from bananas and named after alien spaceships
25. You’ve eaten hotdogs made from worse things than lips and ass
26. You put hotdogs in your spaghetti
27. You consider dilis the Filipino equivalent to french fries
28. You know the meaning of double dead egg. double dead chicken
29. The pasalubong you want from Manila is cornik, which you snack on eight times a day in the office
30. Your idea of a diet is a diet coke with a McDonald’s meal
31. You serve coffee in small glass coffee containers
32. You drink beer with ice
48 WAYS TO KNOW YOU ARE FILIPINO
1. You unwrap Christmas gifts very carefully, so you can save and reuse the wrapping (and especially those bows) next year.
2. You only buy Christmas cards after Christmas, when they are 50% off.
3. When there is a sale on toilet paper, you buy 100 rolls and store them in your closet or in the bedroom of an adult child who has moved out.
4. Your stove is covered with aluminum foil.
5. Your kitchen has a sticky film of grease over it.
6. You use the dishwasher as a dish rack.
7. You have never used your dishwasher.
8. You eat all meals in the kitchen.
9. You save grocery bags, tin foil, and tin containers.
10. You use grocery bags to hold garbage.
11. You always leave your shoes at the door.
12. You have a piano in your living room.
13. You play a musical instrument.
14. You pick your teeth at the dinner table (but you cover your mouth).
15. You twirl your pen around your fingers.
16. You hate to waste food….
(a) Even if you’re totally full, if someone says they’re going to throw away the leftovers on the table, you’ll finish them.
(b) You have Tupperware in your fridge with three bites of rice or one leftover chicken wing.
17. You don’t own any real Tupperware-only a cupboard full of used but carefully rinsed margarine tubs, takeout containers, and jam jars.
18. You have a collection of miniature shampoo bottles that you take every time you stay in a hotel.
19. The condiments in your fridge are either Price Club sized or come in plastic packets, which you save/steal every time you get to take out or go to McDonald’s.
20. Ditto for paper napkins.
21. You never order room service.
22. You own a rice cooker.
23. You fight over who pays the dinner bill.
24. Your dad thinks he can fix everything himself.
25. You majored in something practical like engineering, medicine or law.
26. When you go to a dance party, there is a wall of guys surrounding the dance floor trying to look cool.
27. You live with your parents and you are 30 years old (and hey they refer it that way). Or if you’re married and 30 years old, you live in the apartment next door to your parents, or at least in the same neighborhood.
28. Your parents’ house is always cold.
29. You reuse teabags.
30. Your mom drives her Mercedes to the Price Club.
31. You always look phone numbers up in the phone book, since calling Information costs 50 cents.
32. You only make long distance calls after 11 pm.
33. You have acquired a taste for bittermelon (ampalaya).
34. You prefer your shrimp with the heads and legs still attached-it means they’re fresh.
35. You always cook too much.
36. If you don’t live at home, when your parents call, they ask if you’ve eaten, even if it’s midnight.
37. You e-mail your friends at work, even though you are only 10 feet apart.
38. Your parents send money to their relatives in the Philippines.
39. You’re always late.
40. You eat every last grain of rice in your bowl but don’t eat the last piece of food on the table.
41. You know someone who can get you a good deal on jewelry or electronics.
42. You never discuss your love life with your parents.
43. Your parents are never happy with your grades.
44. You save your old Coke bottle glasses even though you’re never going to use them again.
45. You keep used batteries.
46. Your toothpaste tubes are all squeezed paper-thin.
47. Your relatives either work in medicine or real estate.
48. You take this message and forward it to all your Filipino friends.
SOME MORE SIGNS
1. Most Filipino women / young women own a LOT of shoes! They will also never wear more than half of them again
2. You get punished by kneeling on rice.
3. Cokes are reserved for visitors to your house.
4. Your mother / grandmother’s most precious item is her sewing machine.
5. You’ve been to a Buddy Poppy event.
6. you buy 25 lb. bags or rice and gallon jugs of soy sauce.
7. trying to explain to people why the Philippines starts with “Ph” and Filipino starts with “F”.
8. your grandparents leave the TV on even when nobody watches it.
9. the exact same artificial Christmas tree with the same ornaments, year after year.
10. you know a relative in the VFW or VFW ladies auxiliary.
11. your parents try to get you to go on a date with a child of one their friends.